i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize