and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
