i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
what day is it and did you see me today?
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
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