Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
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