Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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