Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
