Already got asked if we're dating
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
you would pick up someone in the library
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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