He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
