shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize