Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
