Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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