i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
