fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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