Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
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After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
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