I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
