Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
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