i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
