This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
