my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
