is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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