This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
