you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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