Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
