i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Randomize
