I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
