dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
