i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
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how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
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Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize