someone get that fucking seahorse.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
