Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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