If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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