are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Randomize
