but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
