I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
