i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
this is an emotional support booty call
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
