Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
