Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
