Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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