you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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