There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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