My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
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I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
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Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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