alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Randomize
