apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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