its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
