so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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