Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
