We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
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