I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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