I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
