All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
