you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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