if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
