i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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