When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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