No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I have post one night stand depression
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
