we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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