ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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