I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize