Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Randomize
