just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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