I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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